Complicated grief

you share that your lost everything when your mom died.

the DC home that was in your family for generations.

the cousin who said you could sleep on her living room floor

until her daily use of heroin made you miss feeling numb.

you started sleeping in your car so numb was normal

for just a bit longer. by yourself.

you look at me from the shelter you are stuck in.

it’s too cold to sleep in your car.

you smile with tears in your eyes

that you wish you were more like me.

that you wish you handled your mother’s death more like me.

i want to tell you. i know i can’t.

so i smile.

i order 4 bottles of wine that’s delivered to my warm condo

with my beautiful husband tipping on the delivery.

i want to tell you that i am so broken.

i cry. i drink a bottle of wine. i sometimes sleep.

that i am broken into bits spread the 160 miles from

where my mom died and where i live now.

the difference between your mourning and mine

is that i am white. privileged.

you are african-american. fighting to survive.

i will never know what you lost.

you lost the most important person

as i did.

but you lost everything else, too.

--

--

--

i am a first generation italian-american who grew up in southern new jersey. Life is amazingly beautiful and devastating. Sometimes in the same day.

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Recommended from Medium

As I go, I am wearing you

The House that I Call Home

Gaslit for Christmas? No thanks. A message for my fellow survivors.

The Family Dog Was Found Locked in an Abandoned Truck — But Where Was the Jamison Family?

READ/DOWNLOAD#?

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD

Is Your BFF Illegal?

It is Imminent, but also lively!

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
adriana suriano

adriana suriano

i am a first generation italian-american who grew up in southern new jersey. Life is amazingly beautiful and devastating. Sometimes in the same day.

More from Medium

Two Circles of Life

Sometimes you have to be your own Hero

Only a Psychopath Wouldn't Read This All the Way Through

ASR: B13: Chapter 1: 6 or 9? And Neither.