to be authentic

i must tell you

i would rather whisper

i am driven by my past

that I long to be 27 again

new city with miles to walk

so skinny I wore tight jeans

drinking and dancing

with my feminist friends

they got married…had kids…moved away…forgot me.

to be authentic

i must tell you

i would rather whisper

i miss renting a room

leaving when I please

no real possessions except for photos

my teddy bear from age 7

loved ones were alive

my nonna would call and ask

how close to the White House I lived

that’ the American dream she told me

through her beautiful bright blue eyes

hair that turned blond and not gray

teaching me to put ice in her homemade wine

to take the bitterness away

nonna told me never talk to anyone who

didn’t love my hair in a neatly tied bun

the one she wore everyday

they need to see your face

she told me as she touched my face with her hand

i long to live in the past

i tell you in a whisper.