Time to exhale

Most of us have been in the work world long enough to know that when you are not in a position of power, you pretty much have to put up with everything. The HR guy who leans over his desk towards you to close the door. The boss who tells you the HR guy isn’t going anywhere so he’s the last stop.

Your other colleague who emails you that he passes right by your apartment on the way to work. so he can stop. pick you up. maybe we can go for coffee first. Or take a longer drive to see his place. He was sure my husband wouldn’t mind.

the other colleague who always wanted a hug. The other one referred to you as “wifey”. The cop who patrols by my office who offers to take me to his gym. That I was already in good shape so this would be just some pointers. You know. to get my body right.

I see it as a Gift from the universe that I am not dead. That I can still look at myself. and not want to cut. Or throw up. Or maybe even just never leave my apartment because it’s so safe here. And warm. Where I water my tomato seedlings and place them closer to the sunshine on my kitchen floor. My teddy bear from 40 years ago sits on my bed with a half stitched smile. Photos of my mom and nonna as I light candles and start talking. Telling them how I want to be with them so badly I can feel it in my veins. But I know it’s not my time yet. There are things here that aren’t quite finished.

The HR guy finally got pushed out. Rumor was he fucked a colleague. Got her pregnant. The guy who called me wifey got fired, too.

My husband still enjoys my company. And i his. I’m not done being an agitator. Not quite ready to stop being a bitch. Because I will not. I will not under any circumstances . I Will not ever again judge my worth based on anyone’s behavior.

--

--

--

i am a first generation italian-american who grew up in southern new jersey. Life is amazingly beautiful and devastating. Sometimes in the same day.

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Recommended from Medium

Overcome Mental Blocks to Your Creativity

Move the Pawns — Life Lessons in Chess

Ukraine Is On Fire And I’m Sipping Coffee

Woman drinking coffee with floppy hat

7 Fun Things to Do While You’re in Quarantine

What makes people charming?

Use These 6 Logical Levels Of Thinking To Help Achieve Your Goals

Should We Be Really Good at Just One Thing?

MY NEW Lexis has studied from 04/11/2020 to 04/20/2020

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
adriana suriano

adriana suriano

i am a first generation italian-american who grew up in southern new jersey. Life is amazingly beautiful and devastating. Sometimes in the same day.

More from Medium

You & Me, We’re All Naive For This One Reason

How to turn a bad situation into an advantage

The Quotidian Scoop

Why You’re So Depressed