Messy

My life has been messy. Never organized or neatly folded. Tough old world parents. Growing up with the just enough. Verbal abuse. Physical abuse. Mental illness stamped in the brain on the female side.

Put myself in horrible situations in the outside world. Abuse. Violence. It became sort of normal.

I changed. Stopped putting myself in dangerous situations. Stopped blaming everyone. Let the people who loved me in a little closer.

Decided to break the cycle. No kids. Amazing marriage. Less drinking. More walks. More reading. Started loving birds, plants, and myself.

My messy tough days are with others now. Work. My sister. Sometimes money. Wondering why I am trying to help all the strangers I meet.

I have forgiven my mom. Her body has outlived her mind. I have forgiven my dad. I kiss him on the cheek after every visit.