Making a profile for my dad on Match.com

I remember when Match.com first came out. i was newly single and was terrible at picking decent men. i choose the dreamers without jobs. they wanted to be professional athletes. artists. their non achievement of their dreams led to addiction. sleeping with lots of other women. being on extended unemployment.

my sister was disgusted by my choices. she decided it was time to help me. help i honestly never asked for. i found out my profile was on Match.com when i got two of mutual likes in an email from Match.com

“what the fuck is this?” i thought. photos of men who had short haircuts. no tattoos. i just assumed it was not meant for me, so i moved the messages to my junk mail.

“did you get some messages?” my sister proudly asked.

“like what kind of messages?” i said.

“messages from normal guys,” my sister said matter of fact.

“no,” i told her. i didn’t even remember looking at the messages. just the photos that were moved to junk.

“you got messages. i know you did.” she was annoyed at this point. my sister was always annoyed with me.

my sister told me she started a profile on Match.com for me. she only put the cute photos of me looking smart or athletic. i was neither of those things. my sister mentioned this match site was expensive so i better go out on some dates. she told me she only paid for 1 month.

my sister always brought out my worst guilty feelings.

“okay. let’s get this over with.”

i remember, now 20 years later, going out on the worst dates. one guy didn’t look like his photo. one guy was over 15 minutes late so i left the bar where we planned to meet. he had left me a message he was looking for parking. i didn’t care. i lived in a city, so i thought “why the fuck is he driving anyway.”

there was this handsome guy so out of my grasp. he knew it. i knew it. i started showing him photos of my attractive friends.

there was the guy who wanted to marry me. he told me i didn’t have to work for a year when we had a child. that i had a nice budget for the wedding. that his mom would adore me. that was probably my worst match.

today i started a profile on Match.com for my father. We lost my mom 2 years ago. He visits the cemetery often and has cried more in the past 2 years than the last 50. So i tried to explain Match.com to my dad.

“dad, you can meet friends. i am sure everyone will think you are great. it’s free (that was a lie.)”

“okay. sounds good.” my dad said so matter of fact.

it started today. Match.com for my father. i hope he has better success than i did. instead of one month for $19.99 that my sister paid, i paid the three month for $120.