liar

i have spent my life lying to my mother

when i was ten to go to a school dance at the

local recreation center. not even to dance with boys.

just to feel like i had friends.

as a teenager when the cigarettes in my purse were mine.

the smell of peach schnapps and beer was not

cheap hairspray like i told her.

as a twenty something when i madly loved a divorced

guy with a young child.

as a thirty something when i was living with a drifter who

drank too much and cheated way too often.

now as a forty something i am a liar once more

this time your mind riddled with disease

i tell you i will be there to pick you up

as you sob telling me to hurry

knowing the three hour drive to you

i will not make for several more weeks.