i have spent my life lying to my mother
when i was ten to go to a school dance at the
local recreation center. not even to dance with boys.
just to feel like i had friends.
as a teenager when the cigarettes in my purse were mine.
the smell of peach schnapps and beer was not
cheap hairspray like i told her.
as a twenty something when i madly loved a divorced
guy with a young child.
as a thirty something when i was living with a drifter who
drank too much and cheated way too often.
now as a forty something i am a liar once more
this time your mind riddled with disease
i tell you i will be there to pick you up
as you sob telling me to hurry
knowing the three hour drive to you
i will not make for several more weeks.