“Kindness can solve anything.” I just told someone that. Think of the hurt and pain we have experienced. Hurt people hurt people. If I show my husbands x-wife kindness instead of raging anger I would selfishly feel better. I’m not pious. But I am interested in being less anxious. Less depressed. I absolutely have to exercise what I write. What I tell strangers. What I tell survivors like myself. Kindness hurts yourself less than anger and hatred. I don’t necessarily advocate forgiveness. I do advocate using your best skills to fake the kindness so it hurts less. I think about how much my ego and bravado have me screaming and yelling about how awful she is. How much she hurt me. How his hands left scars you cannot see. What if I responded with kindness to myself. Acknowledge the unfairness and pain and the unhealthy part of me who calls his x-wife a whore. Or the woman I call a bitch as she elbows by accident on the metro. Or the colleague who I gossip about.