i stopped being skinny at age 30
my skinny self had not been good to me.
other young women’s skinny led to
years of athletic confidence
marriage and kids.
my skinny self
led to thinking it was normal
when a guy fingered me
at a Prince concert
having no room to move
no voice to scream.
my skinny self
trusted a confused college counselor
who asked me out on a date
after i shared about
that night of unwanted sex
our counseling sessions had ended
when he asked me out to dinner
telling me i was so beautiful
that he would never treat me
the way other men had.
being 40 pounds heavier has given me hypertension, joint pain
disapproval from my parents.
but i no longer fear that my arms and legs are too weak to
punch someone in the throat
kick someone in the balls
being 40 pounds heavier
lets the bruises, that abortion
that complete lack of self worth
sit still in my past.