adriana suriano
1 min readMay 19, 2021

I have decided that everything I thought about myself was wrong. At almost 50, I’m just starting to learn myself.

Firstly, I love espresso. When I traveled to southern Italy, in a village where my mother married my father, espresso is mastered everywhere. At my zio’s farm. A small kitchen with the best espresso among hundreds of acres of land. The pasticere near the church where my mother married my father. I can drink it with pride in the morning and afternoon now. At almost 50.

Secondly, I have younger friends and friends with children who don’t quite understand me. The way I no longer understand them. Friends 15 years younger who are gorgeous and know it. Who are waiting for a beautiful, smart, rich man to appear. My friends with children who pity me for only having my husband and father in my life. I hope they outlive me both.

Thirdly, excitement is not for me. I like to take 4 deep breaths in.. Hold for 2. 4 deep breaths out. I like to watch birds. City birds. Birds at the beach. Birds at national wildlife refuges. I like to walk and listen to the sounds. The sounds of nothingness.

At almost 50, I want to be me without judgement from you. With only a few in my world. With only a few to have some small talk with. To talk about the different sounds birds make. The makes always with bright colors to attract the females.

adriana suriano
adriana suriano

Written by adriana suriano

i am a first generation italian-american who grew up in southern new jersey. Life is amazingly beautiful and devastating. Sometimes in the same day.

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