i go back and forth on my computer screen

between match.com for my father

looking at photos of my deceased mother and myself cheek to cheek

each drinking a frothy cappuccino

i prayed to my catholic god, please take me

i was no good to anyone

my mother was good to everyone

my catholic god never brought her back to me

or to all that adored her

despite my many drinks

my many prayers in front of my bathroom mirror sobbing to take me

bring my mother back

as soon as possible please

despite my wishes my catholic god has kept me alive the 2 years she has been gone

i think how unfair my catholic god is being to me

to the rest of us.