i go back and forth on my computer screen
between match.com for my father
looking at photos of my deceased mother and myself cheek to cheek
each drinking a frothy cappuccino
i prayed to my catholic god, please take me
i was no good to anyone
my mother was good to everyone
my catholic god never brought her back to me
or to all that adored her
despite my many drinks
my many prayers in front of my bathroom mirror sobbing to take me
bring my mother back
as soon as possible please
despite my wishes my catholic god has kept me alive the 2 years she has been gone
i think how unfair my catholic god is being to me
to the rest of us.