my mom being diagnosed with dementia has not garnered much empathy from those around me. i get it. everyone has stuff going on and they deem themselves still present with work, friendships, spin class, happy hours. i am not much of an asker. i fantasize about the email i send to colleagues, friends, family:

dear everyone,

i am sad most days. i ruminate about my mom no longer being the woman who makes italian easter pies for me to take back to home. i will no longer bring her my pants to hem, as i would sit in the chair next to her sewing machine proudly watching. i will no longer the beautiful spring wreaths with lace and pastel fabric on my apartment door. all of those beautiful moments are gone forever.

if there is anything you can do for me, it’s to forgive me for being a bad friend. like a really terrible forgetting to ask how you and your kids are doing friend. i will need my colleagues to help me a little more. but i would never dare ask. i just need a free pass for the foreseeable future. thank you.

love-adriana

i am a first generation italian-american who grew up in southern new jersey. Life is amazingly beautiful and devastating. Sometimes in the same day.

i am a first generation italian-american who grew up in southern new jersey. Life is amazingly beautiful and devastating. Sometimes in the same day.