can i ask you
would you tell me
what was your greatest loss
i can tell you mine
maybe not one
but two
oh wait.
more?
i cannot tell you.
it would require
quitting on this life.
i am just not quite ready.
just because i am a warrior
a 51year old survivor of verbal violence
of violence of all types
does not mean
i am not fucking tired.
because i am.
tired of explaining myself
tired of finishing the dry white wine from
italy; when i was told only red grapes grew
…
i prefer the darkness of a sunrise.
it is forgiving. non-judgmental.
it allows me to feel how i feel most mornings.
childless. motherless.
the guilt that comes along with it.
i remember all of my dreams.
in them i do everything differently.
write my history differently.
i erase losing loved…
“Dad, I tested positive for COVID.”
“What?”
“Dad, I cannot come Christmas Eve.”
In the tradition of my Italian culture, fish is eaten on Christmas Eve. This would be the first Christmas Eve my dad ever hosted without my mom.
He was proud when he told me he found the…
i am not sure when
i stopped breathing
i was so good. for so long.
taking a deep breathe in
1.2.3.4.
my lungs filled with air
unlike decades ago.
camel cigarette smoke for as long
as i could hold it.
breathe out circles slowly.
i felt a warm buzz that…
