This is the not the first time my hair soaked up the smell of death. When Liz overdosed and died i went into her apartment to salvage anything for her 19-year-old son. She spent the $8k she saved for his college semester in 2 months over the summer. When i…

My mother was fierce. At 5 feet and 1 inch she commanded a room with her bright smile. When it was time for serious stuff to happen you knew that too. She was a highly trained designer and seamstress, making everything from wedding dresses to dress suits. She brought her…

i have given the response of emotionally complicated to various people about my recent 2-week trip to Italy with my family. i told my friend at work and she spends so much time with me she was like, “oh, i know how that goes. anytime my family goes on vacation…

my father and his sister, my zia, saw each other after 24 years. they lingered around each other. my father gingerly guiding her small slightly bent frame around the christmas day dinner table that was leaning precariously to the right. my father towereing a foot above her. when she saw…

When my cousin Lucy flipped her jeep at age 21, she was allegedly on cocaine and alcohol. she was estranged from most of the family. i always had an affinity for her. she was feisty the way my nonna was. Lucy was named after my nonna Lucia. she was in…

Being a first-generation Italian American, no one in my American world told me I was pretty consistently an anxious mess. in my Italian world my mom’s best friend Maria would tell me in a loud whisper, “what the hell is the difference? Anxiety. Passion. Life is fucking hard. You get…

When i was 16 1/2 my parents would go to the bank every Friday evening. That was when banks had people that worked there for years and would answer all banking questions until 8 pm on a Friday. My parents loved going to their bank. My parents were local celebrities…

Five or six mornings per week, I call my father. Before my day starts around 7 am I dial his flip phone. Before i can even say hello my father blurts out, “I had to go outside and clean. That god damn scoattolo was near my persimmon tree again.” My…

“I pimped myself out to Father Anthony,” i say when my sister opens the door to her beautiful suburban home. I gently take off my shoes organizing mine and hers. My sister and I were best friends until about 10 years ago. She was diagnosed with an illness no one…